Oct 6, 2007

How to Not be an Online Troll. Basics.

As a http://www.bullshido.net/ forum member, I see mass amounts of STUPID flowing in from around the world daily from forum neophytes, and felt the need to create a simple guide for all to follow. So...

The PunchKickChoke Guide to Being a Respectable, Contributing Member in an Online Martial Arts Community.

  • Don't make your first post in any Martial Arts forum inflammatory. Unless you're asking to get banned*.
    Without others knowing why you are being such a douchebag, it gets hard to get your point across in the future, even if you actually have something to contribute.
    *banning for e-flaming not usually applicable to bullshido
  • Hey, it's time for your first thread! Post it in the right $%$%ing forum.
    ie: "5 Karate Teens Raped by Sensei" is not a proper thread in a 'General Comedy' section.*
    *usually
  • Don't bullshit about your experience.
    You beat up a "former UFC champ" with Ninjitsu last week?
    You learned your Wing Chun from Yip Man himself?
    You train with Randy Couture weekly despite the fact that you reside in Florida?
    Yeah, no. The fact that you're 13 doesn't help.
  • Don't spew bullshit.
    No matter how much you believe in chi, ninjas, and no-touch KOs, you really can't bring a proper case for any of these things. Don't get your panties in a bunch when everyone calls you on your BS, and join an anime community instead.
  • Grappling is gay?
    The steps for online pre-teen TMA black belts:
    Search Google for threads/YT videos on grappling.
    Say it doesn't work in the the streets.
    Ignore anything anyone says afterwords.
    Finish with "Grappling is homo, lololol" and leave.
    Fail to realize that your mother should have aborted you when she had the chance.
  • Stop Nutriding, please.
    We all know that Bruce, Muhammed, Oyama, and Helio all kicked ass. You don't need to remind us.
  • Don't challenge people to fights online unless it's realistic, and you're willing to actually fight.
    This means:
    Not backing out, then calling the people you challenged pussies for not accepting.
    No weird-ass rules (ie: on a skating rink, only wiffle bats)
    A proper location (ie: Park, not Parking Lot)
    No claims of "deathmatch-only." People aren't that stupid.
  • Don't post crap on forums everyone has seen a million times.*
    "Oh, gee, lol, look at this video of this '(Bruce Lee/Royce Gracie/FPS Doug)' guy! Lolollol!"
    "Oh, gee, lol, (TKD/Karate/Ninjitsu/Yellow Bamboo) doesn't work! Lololol"
    *
    does not apply to blogs.
  • Don't make threads on "A vs. B"
    Bruce Lee vs. Muhammed Ali? Tony Jaa vs. Jet Li? MMA vs. Tai Chi?
    Me telling you to 'Go kill yourself' vs. 'Go play in traffic.'
    "Aliens vs. Predator" is honestly a better topic.
  • Stop posting threads that have nothing but a stupid picture as content.
    Yes, we know that LOLcats is funny. Is the cat kicking another cat? Is the cat doing an armbar?
    No? Then it's worthless as a thread OP.
  • Don't be vague. Then we know you're lying.
    Secret Missions for the NSA? Undisclosed location for protection from terrorists?
    Stopped taking your crazy pills? Delusional crafty F'er.

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