Feb 21, 2008

*Sigh*...Never Back Down - The New MMA Movie

So, after thinking that I would ignore this abortion of a movie, I figured, why not capitalize on the probable high number of searches coming for this POS.

Honestly, I don't mean to offend the teen to early-20s group of people who think this movie is going to be the greatest thing ever, but as a somewhat serious MMA fan, and cynical martial artist, I'm not happy. You want to know what this is? I'll explain it to you:

The Punch Kick Choke Guide to "Never Back Down"

1) Can someone say, "recycled plotline"?
Take "Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift," replace the asians with rich white kids, and the cars with fighting. At least be creative. Good god. Protagonist get lured into match for girl, get humiliated, finds mentor who trains him, starts to kick ass, and beats the talented asshole who beat him in the first place. Never heard that one before. I was going to give Mamet's upcoming "Redbelt" some props, but marbles? What the hell?

2) Speaking of Fast and the Furious...
This movie is going to do for MMA what F&F did for import racing- a sudden flooding of wannabe's and idiots. Mark my words- within a few months or so, every major MA forum will be flooded with threads like "How do I become an ultimate fighter," or "What is Mhui Tai?," "Check out my homemade grappling videos, lol." It's going to suck.
Also, replace the idiots wearing Sparco, Apex'i, and D-1 Gran Prix gear with idiots wearing Sprawl, Tapout, and Affliction gear. For every person who started putting cheap spoilers on the back of their Civics after they saw Paul Walker driving that Supra with an obnoxious orange paint job, there will be a guy who'll start wearing board shorts and rashguards EVERYWHERE.

3) The Worst News of All
The complete and utter bullshidofication of mixed martial arts.
Imagine it. A Black Belt in MMA, fake BJJ credentials, certification of crap instructors willing to pay a few thousand to get "certified" in MMA (Happening with ATT already), money hungry kung fu and karate instructors teaching more and more heavily into low-percentage "anti-grappling" techniques, RBSD scammers spewing out trash videos called "MMA vs. the Streets, Winning Against Cagefighters"... all coming to us soon.
With more and more people flocking to BJJ and Muay Thai, it's only a matter of time before the market gets so packed with shitty teachers, the art becomes bloated and implodes upon itself. Thank you, Hollywood, for raping everything we love.

Look at this trailer and comment below about how awesome it looks with your name and address written as well, so I can hunt you down.

The only redeeming factor of this movie? Bas Rutten attempting to give basic MMA advice on their website. http://www.neverbackdownthemovie.com/ecard/ Still massive levels of FAIL.

Whatever... this all being said and done, I think I will plop down 10 dollars to see this crap, so I can see all the young teens get their testosterone levels peaking and cheer on the protagonist.... *sigh*


onslaught82 said...

Ouch that movie is going to spawn a generation of badass wannabe's....95% will try to fight and fail. Onslaught gives this movie two thumbs down...

Chuck said...

I wrote a post on Never Back Down about a month ago, and said the exact same thing you did with the Fast and The Furious connection. So True...


Punch Kick Choke said...

lol- who I do feel bad for are the guys who don't see the similarities -_-

I really do hope that it's not going to be as much of a disaster as I see it being... not that there's much chance of that.

Anonymous said...

dickhead director/producer f'd it up

bryan said...

I was attracted by this movie to MMA, just to find out its totally different stuff, movie makes it way easier (unrealistic) than what its supposed to be. Friend of mine whose into MMA for years told me the movie is shit lol.

mma lessons