Mar 5, 2008

Another "How to Become a Contributing Member in an Online Martial Arts Community" Post

Well, I'd like to share a little something with those of you that lurk around Bullshido/Sherdog/ or any other forum, MMA/Grappling related or not.

Now, I know that some of you are registered to these MA forums, but never post anything, and when you finally do, it's often to get user's opinions on something. Today, I will show you what the worst kind of Neophyte Troll is; I call his kind "The Young Donkey."

I name them so because they are characterized by one really glaring trait: being stubborn about their opinions although they have no real experience to speak of. It's like these bastards evolve into the Armchair Warrior later on.

Original Thread:

In today's example, this particular Young Donkey decided to ask a question about Wing Chun... then proceeded to get angry about it when the answers he received were not in line with his own opinion... So, of course, I sent him a reply:

Originally Posted by DJYoshaBYD
ok.. I get it.. I will get no help on this forum.. everyone just talks shit... o well...

I guess I am doomed to be a good fighter, who took WC, and now sucks... I am already a good martial artist.. just wanted to mix it up... but its cool... Ill just do it and find out for myself... late

Here's what I don't get-

Why do people come on online forums, ask a stupid fucking question, DEMAND answers that they WANT to hear, and get their underpants in a prissy bunch as soon as they see honest replies that go against what they want to believe?

Example time!

Let's say for instance that a little boy named DJYoshaBYD wants a 12" penis, but only has a 1.2" one. Now, not one to give up, he desperately looks for ways to enlarge his member.

He stumbles across manual and surgical methods of doing so that have some level of success, but he thinks about it, and says: "I don't want to spend that kind of time or money on making sure my penis doesn't get mistaken for a large clitoris anymore, there has to be a better way."

So continues he search. Then, suddenly, BAM! He sees an advertisement for pills! "Magical Pills," the headline on the page reads, "Guaranteed to make you grow to 10 inches in a week! Only $49.99"

Little Yosha's fucking ecstatic by now. Holy Shit! 10" in a week?

...But, of course, Yosha's a very careful buyer. He likes user and professional reviews before investing into anything.

He first heads off into a penis enlargement forum. He makes a thread titled "P3NOR 1nLARGGEEEmeNT Pillz! Ownly Xperienced Pozt!" A few minutes later, his thread is flooded with people ridiculing him, and he has been banned for being a potential Pill Spammer.

"Fuck them," he says, "they don't know what they're talking about."

But, instead of giving up, he heads off to a doctor's office, and starts gabbing about his online discovery.

The doctor stops him mid-sentence, and says: "Listen, Yosha, I know that you really want this to be true, but experience and documentation shows us that these things are essentially scams spouting empty promises. Now, I'd recommend surgery, but it is expensive, and it's not 100% safe. It's your call."

But, before the doctor can finish explaining why his small dick problem couldn't be solved by wishful thinking, Little Yosha had already stormed out of the building.

"Fuck him," he says, "he's only a doctor. He's just trying to sell me ideas about surgery. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

So, in the end, Yosha buys the pills, and a few months later, his penis exactly the same minute size that it was, he's a happier boy.

As a matter of fact, he's pretty sure that it did grow to 10"- of course, he had to fiddle with his ruler a little bit (...cutting the first 8" of the ruler off, and measuring from his asshole on), but details, schmetails. He goes around every public forum he can to tell people about his success story, and how big of a penis he has. He decides on a policy of telling everyone who doesn't believe his claim of having a huge member to fuck off, and absolutely refuses to show visual proof. Because that's just gay. Honestly.

My point? If you're thinking about asking us a question about styles and what to take, but you're just like little Yosha here, FUCK OFF AND DON'T WASTE OUR TIME WITH YOUR BULLSHIT. WE'RE NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR JUST BECAUSE YOU ASK NICELY.

So, in short, don't be a troll.

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