Mar 9, 2011

3 Reasons You Suck as a MMA Fan

This is a snippet of an excellent and hilarious post by Bullshido poster Sirc, whose stories I have reposted before, explaining why you, as a MMA fan, are a terrible person. The full post here:

I wonder what weight class this kid fatass would be in?
When Frank Mir fought Brockle Snar the first time, I vividly remember watching the fight at a friend’s house. It was interesting to watch a group of assholes who had the barest grasp of combat sports argue on who was going to win. I remember saying, “Frank Mir will probably knee bar him.” Which elicited responses ranging from, “NO HE IS TOO BIG AND HE WILL PUNCH HIM!” to “HOW CAN HE EVEN DO THAT” to “IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!” I can’t remember if I killed myself or if I just vomited with immeasurable fury.

When it comes to combat sports, the one driving force behind the entirety of the business is, unfortunately, you. You, the fan. You, the jack ass. It is because of you that the entire world of combat sports does what it does: slowly slip its slimy old wrinkly hand slowly down the small of your back into your pants and get your money. So here are three reasons why you are a terrible person fan.

You don’t know what you want:
As a fan of the sports you think you know what you want to see. The big KO, the big submission, or maybe even the big brawl. I mean, surely, you must know exactly what it is that brings you the greatest of joys in the sport that you’ve so dedicated your life to that you’ve purchased all the exclusive apparel, right? The correct answer is no. You don’t. For the most part, you’re as confident in your choices as a 15 year old girl is in… pretty much any decision a 15 year old girl has to make. This is why you get so tired of Champions so quickly: You hate seeing someone reign at the top. I’m pretty sure it’s instinctual and you are just terribly insecure. All of you fickle assholes who were on the, “BOO ANDERSON SILVA” boat captained by Chael Sonnen quickly jumped ship when she capsized on her maiden voyage. Then when the Vitor Belfort train came along, all of you rode it into Capriciousville when you were all about Vitor taking the belt away from Silva RIGHT up until his SPECTACULAR knock out of the famed Brazilian. Then again, you had your knee-jerk reaction praise of Silva when most of you (read: 90%) had just stated how much you wanted him gone.

This forces the UFC and other organizations to place ridiculous standards on fighters and puts weird clauses in their contracts that they must continue to win, or lose their meal ticket. Because of how fickle you assholes are, fighters have to concentrate on their win/loss ratio more than the actual fights themselves. Which on the surface doesn’t look bad, but it makes fighters more cautious and thus more willing to fight “safe” and warily rather than go for broke and make it an exciting fight. I mean, why go for the big KO and risk your contract when you can just wrestle and stall out the guy and win on points, right? And it comes full circle when you nancies start complaining about how boring the fights are. So really, it’s your fault all because you can’t make up your prissy, weak, baby minds.

A relatively peaceful moment for the Tapout crew before the death of Mask

1 comment:

clyde anthon said...

thank you for the nice post, since you are delivering the right information to your reader why not include some video's or more picture as well. But your post in nice and keep up the good work.

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